Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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