What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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9/11

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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Yo mama so fat.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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