Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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a man was shot.... he died

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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