What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops