what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down +2

it was all Tagart

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops