Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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what is 3+3= 8

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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