What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops