Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

Waffles ate my grandma

If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

Obama

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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