Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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I asked her where you were.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops