If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Democracy.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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