Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops