What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Badabing.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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