What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops