A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

Ol-ive

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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