how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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I was once a hamster.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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