Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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