Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

Yesterday, I was assasinated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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