A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops