How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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