knock knock who's there? your destiny

Dead girls can't say no.

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Obama = ebola

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...