What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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A storm be brewin!

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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