Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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