Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +22

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops