What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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