A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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