What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops