A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops