Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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the economy.

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops