Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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The child was fired from his job.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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David Cameron

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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