When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

hey hey apple

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

Yellow People !!

Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

The child was fired from his job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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