- Anti Joke

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??