How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops