Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Knock knock Go away

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Democracy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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