Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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9/11

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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