Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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