What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Mogok Papiti.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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