a man checks his mypsace

What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

Steven hawkings shook my hand

Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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