Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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