Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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