Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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