Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

Knock knock It's open, come in

Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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