How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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