why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down

what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops