Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

So a horse walks into a barn.

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

I'm Coming

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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