Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

so today i took a poop. hehe

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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