A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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