As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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