What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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