What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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penis in the camel

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Now I know my 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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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