I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -34

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's white and black? Color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what smells like tuna? my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A whole 'nother.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops