What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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