knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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