Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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bite me

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops