q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

Skinny people fart less.

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

Read a Book.

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

roy g biv

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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