Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

Your mom went to college

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Nero, sure you are okay?

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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